


Judis and Dismay react to the Winter Soldier Minions: Code of Conduct

by the17thmuse



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Background Relationships, Backstory, Cake Day, Gen, I almost forgot this existed so I'm posting it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27346987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the17thmuse/pseuds/the17thmuse
Summary: ...In Which Judis and Dismay read the Rules (aka How Cake Day ended up on the Winter Minions Code of Conduct in OC: Winter Soldier)





	1. aka How Cake Day ended up on the Winter Minions Code of Conduct

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [OC: Winter Soldier](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14073036) by [Arboreal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arboreal/pseuds/Arboreal). 



> Arboreal posted the Preliminary Code of Conduct on October 7, 2018 in tumblr, and my OCs code-name Dismay and Judis had words about it, which I submitted back on the same day, which was a few days before chapter 7 was posted, the chapter addressing said Code of Conduct in the OC:Winter Soldier blog.
> 
> This just exists as a record that the aforefronted conversation between OCs did happen. Just for those curious about why Cake day ended up there.

> ## Prelimenary Code of Conduct
> 
> Hello, Winter Soldier Minions! Below is our preliminary Code of Conduct. Please vote yea or nay and/or make suggestions for changes.
> 
> Thank you to Minions Cloak, Cyber, Dismay, Judicator, Kirashea, Prestige, Shockwave, Tag, and The Ever-Changing Shadow for your contributions! If I missed anyone, please let me know so that I can give credit where credit is due.
> 
> * * *
> 
> I. **Basic Rules**
> 
> When in doubt, these rules take precedence:
> 
> a. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Whether we are dealing with each other, our enemies, or innocent bystanders, treat others with respect. We are all just doing our best.
> 
> b. What happens in the Winter Soldier Minions, stays within the Winter Soldier Minions. It takes trust and courage to join a group such as ours. For the success of missions and safety of our members, do not spread anything you learn.
> 
> c. Respect others’ privacy. It is a personal choice whether to unmask even among other minions. Please honor your fellow minions’ choices.

Dismay: No problems as of yet.

> II. **Treatment of Enemies**
> 
> a. Do not kill enemies.
> 
> b. Do not maim or permanently damage enemies.
> 
> c. Follow rules II.a and II.b even if escape becomes otherwise impossible. The Winter Soldier Minions do not leave their own behind and you will be freed quickly. 
> 
> d. If you incapacitate an enemy, make sure they can easily be found and retrieved by others in order to receive any necessary medical assistance.
> 
> e. Rules II.a and II.b may only be violated under extreme circumstances.
> 
> i. Extreme circumstances include enemies that threaten civilian life and extinction-level events.
> 
> ii. Any violation of these rules must be voted on and achieve unanimous agreement by all minions to be carried out.

Judis: _*gives an acknowledging nod to (a), (b) and (e) in particular*_ I will endeavor to keep this in mind.

> III. Treatment of Non-Combatants and Innocent Bystanders
> 
> a. Do not involve non-combatants and innocent bystanders during battles.

Dismay: _*aloud*_ But what of the treatment of bait and hostages, Winter Soldier, Sir? It directly violates subsection (a). Will it be filed under a different set of rules? _*takes notes*_

> b. Protection of civilians supersedes any immediate villainous goals. There will always be another day.
> 
> c. Hospitals, schools, cemeteries, and supermarkets are neutral zones.

Dismay: _*reading (c)*_...cemeteries?

Judis _(who_ _recommended said subsection)_ : _*dryly*_ Necromancers and re-animators. And any who dare to violate neutral territory, will be dealt...with extreme prejudice—

Dismay: No killing.

> IV. **Scientific (and other) Research**
> 
> a. Informed consent of any test subjects is paramount.

Judis _(evidently quoting someone else)_ : _*strange nostalgic smile while reading subsection (a)*_ Consent is everything.

Dismay: Fond memories?

Judis: ...And a not-quite old friend, yes. * _hums what may possibly be the creepiest rendition of 'Mama Will Always Love You'℗*_

Dismay: _*mutters*_ 'Friend', that's a 'sweetheart' face you're wearing there, old man. _*pauses. studies Judis' list of recommendations for the lab*_ Meat hooks, bone saws, cryogenics, morgue, harpoons...? It's a lab. Not a torture room or an infirmary.

Judis: Are they not all the same?

Dismay:Absolutely not. * _blinks*_ The more I learn about you, the more I think I don't want to know.

> b. Experiments must be scheduled ahead of time. This includes submitting safety and emergency evacuation plans.
> 
> c. Follow basic lab safety.
> 
> d. Do not teleport into a lab unannounced.
> 
> e. Do not eat an experiment.
> 
> V. **Break Room and Other Common Areas**
> 
> a. These areas belong to all of us. Treat them with respect.
> 
> b. A Rock – Paper – Scissors tournament will be held weekly. The winner chooses which division is responsible for cleaning the break room and other common areas for that week. No division can be chosen for cleaning duty twice within the same calendar month.

Judis: ...What is Rock – Paper – Scissors?

Dismay: _*scrolling through Wikipedia*_ Rochambeau. It's a game of choices. Like Sabre-Blaster-Fist.

Judis: Ah. Tele-Teke-Nadru. Crusader and Rattler are undisputed masters when playing these. _*narrows eyes in distaste*_

> c. There will at minimum one non-villain related team-building event a month. Attendance is compulsory.

Judis: _*perks up at (c)_ * Cake Day.

Dismay: Cake Day? What does Cake Day have to do with games?

Judis: Nothing. But I shall endeavor to ask the Soldier of Winter for a monthly or weekly Cake Day. For a planet named after dust, they have an abundance of recipes. And my spice cake is worth killing over.

Dismay: _*skeptical*_ Really.

Judis: I guard my recipe jealously—Damascena, in particular, had been hounding me for centuries. _*sniffs*_ Only one other individual has ever been worthy of learning it. None of my teammates know.

Dismay: Good for you then. 

> d. No touches Kirashea’s food. No one.

Dismay: _*squints at (d)*_ Now, how come only Kirashea has a 'no one touches my stuff' rule? We all have pet peeves too. I don't like it when people leave their weapons just lying around waiting for anyone to trip over them or something. Or having really long and wordy mission reports.

Judis: Speaking from experience, young one?

Dismay: You have no idea. Do you have any?

Judis: None at the moment, no, and ultimately unnecessary. I tend to get even, eventually. _*leaves to make chocolate-dipped bread-sticks*_

Dismay: Naughty human. _*takes note, murmuring_ * Observation: Never engage Judis in games like Rock – Paper – Scissors or chess and the like. He is an asshole who can straight stalemates several times in a row. I think he does it on purpose. No. _*scribbles some more*_ He does do it on purpose.


	2. In Which Code version 2 brings Dismay Distress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally dated October 9, 2018, the same day the Official Code of Conduct was posted in tumblr.

> ## Official Code of Conduct!
> 
> Hi, all! Below (hopefully behind a cut) is the Winter Soldier Minions Official Code of Conduct!
> 
> Additions: II.c, II.f, IV.a-d
> 
> Modifications: III.c, VI.b-c
> 
> Thank you again to Minions Cloak, Cyber, DLS, Dismay, Jane Doe, Judicator, Kirashea, Prestige, Shockwave, Tag, and The Ever-Changing Shadow for your contributions! If I missed anyone, please let me know so that I can make the additions!
> 
> * * *
> 
> I. **Basic Rules**
> 
> When in doubt, these rules take precedence:
> 
> a. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Whether we are dealing with each other, our enemies, or innocent bystanders, treat others with respect. We are all just doing our best.
> 
> b. What happens in the Winter Soldier Minions, stays within the Winter Soldier Minions. It takes trust and courage to join a group such as ours. For the success of missions and safety of our members, do not spread anything you learn.
> 
> c. Respect others’ privacy. It is a personal choice whether to unmask even among other minions. Please honor your fellow minions’ choices.
> 
> II. **Treatment of Enemies**
> 
> a. Do not kill enemies.
> 
> b. Do not maim or permanently damage enemies.
> 
> c. Follow rules II.a and II.b even if escape becomes otherwise impossible. The Winter Soldier Minions look after their own and you will be freed quickly. 
> 
> d. If you incapacitate an enemy, make sure they can easily be found and retrieved by others in order to receive any necessary medical assistance.
> 
> e. Rules II.a and II.b may only be violated under extreme circumstances.
> 
> i. Extreme circumstances include enemies that threaten civilian life and extinction-level events.
> 
> ii. Any violation of these rules must be voted on and achieve unanimous agreement by all minions prior to being carried out.
> 
> f. Do not bother Tony Stark when Iron Man is off duty. Let both men enjoy their coffee break.

Dismay: _*reading (f)*_ Stark? How did he end up here? Did Cyber or Jane Doe put up with this? That's the second time someone got named.

Judis: ...It seems the Winter Soldier has an interest on Ironman's patron.

Dismay: Glad you've updated your lingo, old man. _*realizes what Judis said*_ ...say what? No. Not possible. _*studies (f). mutters*_ ...dismissal. Leave the poor man's coffee alone. Sentence pattern lax and casual. Word tone caring. He cares. He cares that Tony Stark may be on a less than optimal level of function because of possible coffee deprivation....He's fond of him. But Boss has never met him. Unless, civilian identity, and humans have an unpredictability factor of 10 to 15% on average. Possibility of infatuation: attainable. Maturity to love: possible.

> III. **Treatment of Non-Combatants and Innocent Bystanders**
> 
> a. Do not involve non-combatants and innocent bystanders during battles.
> 
> b. Protection of civilians supersedes any immediate villainous goals. There will always be another day.
> 
> c. Hospitals, schools, cemeteries, and supermarkets are neutral zones.
> 
> IV. **Expectations of Minions**
> 
> a. Use of Powers in Non-Combat Settings
> 
> i. Do not use your power(s) on fellow minions unless they ask you to.

Judis: _*studies (a) subsection (i)_ * This would be moot. I use my powers on everyone every time. _*pauses*_ Are you done as of now?

Dismay: ...I—I. _*annoyed*_ When you get booted out it will be your own fault. _*huffs. speaks to themselves*_ If the boss likes Tony Stark, he'd have to make nice to Ironman. Lessen strain if he—if he leaves villainy. Proof of change of heart: become a hero. Maybe join the Avengers, if allowed. Where they will have no choice but to see. And they will. Boss is a very effective operative based on data on his missions against the Avengers. _*shakes*_ Ha. Ha. It'll be like Cutlass and Warmonger. But with less hostility and zero bloodshed. And without the dying. And going dismal...good for Boss. But what about us?

Judis: _*observes Dismay in distress_ * Things must have gotten interesting since I last dealt with technomancers... 

> ii. Do not harass your fellow minions into using their power(s) just because you find them “cool”. Some minions may not mind being asked, but no means no.
> 
> b. Meetings
> 
> i. Robert’s Rules of Order will be used for all meetings to provide an open and productive atmosphere for discussion of villainous activities.
> 
> ii. In deference to the busy lives of minions, meetings will be called only when absolutely necessary. As such, attendance is considered mandatory.
> 
> iii. If a minion finds it impossible to attend a meeting, the organizers should be notified as soon as possible. This way they will know the minion has not been captured by a hero, and if the minion’s food order should be canceled.

Judis: _*reads (b) and makes a note to obtain a copy of "Robert's Rules of Order"*_

> c. Team-Building Exercises
> 
> i. There will be at minimum one non-villain related team-building event a month.
> 
> ii. As with meetings, attendance is considered mandatory. Similarly, minions must notify organizers ahead of time if unable to attend.
> 
> iii. Attendance at weekly Cake Day is not mandatory, but strongly encouraged. Options for those with dietary restrictions will be provided.
> 
> d. Bribes
> 
> i. Do not accept monetary gifts and/or bribes from heroes.
> 
> ii. Do Not Accept Monetary Gifts And/Or Bribes From Heroes.

Judis: *raises a brow at (d)* That is quite the emphasis. Is the reverse allowed?

> V. **Scientific (and other) Research**
> 
> a. Informed consent of any test subjects is paramount.
> 
> b. Experiments must be scheduled ahead of time. This includes submitting safety and emergency evacuation plans.
> 
> c. Follow basic lab safety.
> 
> d. Do not teleport into a lab unannounced.
> 
> e. Do not eat an experiment.
> 
> VI. **Break Room and Other Common Areas**
> 
> a. These areas belong to all of us. Treat them with respect.
> 
> b. A Rock – Paper – Scissors tournament will be held weekly. The winner chooses the area of the break room and common areas their division is responsible for cleaning for the following week. Runners-up chose the cleaning duty area for their division in reverse order of their elimination. No division can choose the same area for cleaning duty twice within the same calendar month.
> 
> c. Due to food allergies of various members, a list of prohibited foods will be posted in the break room and common areas. EVERYONE will make sure the foods they bring into these areas do not violate the list of forbidden foods. We do NOT need to make the heroes’ mission easier for them by endangering or incapacitating one of our own by accident.
> 
> d. No one touches Kirashea’s food. No one.

Dismay: Judis, if the boss ever joins the Avengers for love, do you think he'll bring us with him. _*pauses*_ If we ask?

Judis: _*silence* ..._ He is no Crusader or Stormraker, or even you or me. A plain human, with all the strengths and flaws that make them (and me) so wanted for all the right and wrong things. Humans make great and terrible monsters, Dismay. They (my patron) love us for it. We yearn for what we can't have, and settle for nothing less. We're selfish and greedy bastards, always wanting the impossible, even if it makes us stubborn, or crazy. So, yes. He will definitely bring us along. And even if he does not, I never abandon a mission. We will leave him no choice.

Dismay: _*pauses*_ Your crazy is showing, old man. I don't think anyone is going to appreciate you threatening or going against the Winter Soldier though. _*small voice*_ Thanks.

Judis: You are welcome any time, young one. Now tell me, who are Cutlass and Warmonger?

Dismay: Only the most frigid and flexible soldier, and what's possibly the craziest danger-craving mercenary back home. It was a disaster from beginning to end...


	3. In which Judis Gets an Assistant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, in the tumblr message board...

Dismay: Weekly. Cake Day. They’re going to get fat. _*turns to Judis*_ This is your fault.

Cyber: _*to Dismay*_ Who cares? XD Sweets are life!

Judis: Dismay is a worrier, but let her be. She will get over it. The Winter Soldier has approved of Cake Day and his is the last word. I have acquired a civilian identity and opened a small bakeshop. Please feel free to stop by, but no villain mischief is tolerated (except in the special hero/villain section). Troublemakers there will face me as a citizen, and not as a fellow minion, unless I am in costume.

Cyber: Sweet! Can I work there? I need a day job so my brother stop worrying about me (since I can’t tell him about the other job). I promise to not steal any of the merchandise while on shift!

Judis: Very well, but only if you do not mind either being paid in a commission salary or in pastry. (This planet’s inflation is ridiculous.) You can bring your own taser (or some other self-defense tool) if you wish. Though I think the rolling pin and extra-hardtack will be enough.

Judis: Also, bake sales are strictly for raising upkeep for villain lair and other villainly pursuits. 


End file.
